Secret Life Of A CSI

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Real Life Stories Of A Crime Scene Investigator

Being a Crime Scene Investigator isn't quite how they portray it to be on the TV. Sorry to ruin it for you but it's the truth! Their stories are quite unbelievable - literally unbelievable and clearly not real life. I've only managed to watch a few episodes of 'CSI' as I found myself shouting at the screen in horror. Watching open mouthed as the CSI climbed on to the roof of a house to fingerprint a chimney! Really!!!! Come on now! No wonder my burglary victims are disappointed when I turn up. A) will not climb up on their roof like the burgler did and B) I just come wealding a fingerprint brush. There are no lasers & sprays, just a brush!

Read On!

Hoping you find my real life stories entertaining and that they give you a more realistic insight in to what a Crime Scene Investigator gets up to in the UK.

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Autopsy room csi mortuary peril

CSI Mortuary Perils


Let me set the record straight and tell you what it’s really like to be at an autopsy and what perils await us CSI’s. We are used to being in this environment but sometimes even we can be squeamish!

Gorey
CSI Vs Weather

CSI Vs Weather


Home Blogs Contact Me Secret Life Of A CSI CSI Vs Weather Tweet0 Pin0 I imagine in CSI Miami it never rains, the sun is always out and the evidence is never destroyed/compromised by the weather. It’s just glorious sunshine, but not too hot, just the right temperature to not make them sweaty or have

Tame
who is behind the door

Who Is Behind The Door?


I may be a Crime Scene Investigator working for a Police Force but there have been occasions when I have had to call for help when I’m at a Crime Scene! Just because I wear a uniform doesn’t mean I’m safe. More often than not it means I’m more of a target because of it. The average person I visit is in need of my help, however you can never tell what’s behind the door – or who! Sometimes the victim will turn out to not be what you thought. Occasionally the victim becomes the suspect!

Tame
Human bones in a grave

Bone Or Stone


I’m so lucky in my job as a Crime Scene Investigator that I get to ‘try out’ other peoples occupations, not just watch them! This week I’m not just a CSI, I’m an archaeological CSI excavating a human body from a ditch!

‘What did you do today?’ My husband asks. The reply is not what he was expecting, it was far more interesting than my usual lab work. I had him intrigued!

Queasy
chasing burglars

Chasing Burglars


I’m not a police officer, never wanted to be one, and after today I definitely haven’t changed my mind! Chasing burglars is not my idea of a good day out! I do fingerprinting! Police Officers have a really tough job and are mostly unappreciated in my opinion. They are however the first people everyone calls when they are in trouble.

Tame
7 Foods An Autopsy Puts Me Off Eating

7 Foods An Autopsy Puts Me Off Eating!


As much as I love my job, I love food more. I have a strong stomach for the grim visions of death I see on a weekly basis. Very essential in my job I’m sure you will agree! But there are still times when the sights and smells of a particular scene get to me and I lose my appetite – tragic!! And the main event that puts me off my dinner is when I attend an autopsy.

Gorey
Awkward felling CSI

How To Make A CSI Feel Awkward At A Crime Scene


We are fairly un-shockable people in comparison to the rest of society due to the diverse nature of incidents we attend. However there are still circumstances where the public can make situations far worse than you thought possible! And there are definitely situations where the public can make a CSI feel awkward at a crime scene! Trust me, I’ve been there!

Queasy
Jail Bars

Investigating Arson In A Jail


Being a Crime Scene Investigator (CSI) means we investigate crime scenes…..wherever they may be. Therefore when we got the call about investigating an arson in a jail we know one of us will be going to it, just as we would any other scene. But hang on a minute, this is in a jail and isn’t even remotely like any other scene we examine!

Tame
Is CSI Really Glamorous?

Is Being A CSI Glamorous?


If you are an avid fan of watching CSI Miami then you probably have this impression that we all run around looking really glamorous and solve every crime we come across? But what is it really like to be a CSI in Reality? CSI; is it really glamorous as they portray it to be? In reality do I go around in high heels and a skirt (I wish) finding evidence with numerous lasers and sprays. Or do i just get given a ‘unisex’ (just read mans here) uniform and a fingerprint brush? Ive put together a few examples of what I really get up to, it may not be girly or glamorous but it can be fun.

Queasy
Pets who ruin Crime Scenes, Secret life of a CSI

Pets Who Ruin Crime Scenes


Every scene has it’s challenges. Some are in difficult locations, some are hot or cold, and some you just know you are going to be at for days! Others however, have things in them that are just beyond your control. Are what are they? Pets – specifically pets who seem intent on ruining your crime scene and seem to enjoy it!

Tame
Crime Scene Tape

The ‘Inconvenient’ Dead Body


We have no control over where or when we die. We don’t know when or where it will be but it probably never occurrs to us that someone could find a dead body ‘inconvenient’! Well why would we? CSI’s don’t find death inconvenient, it’s our job. Even when someone is stuck in a tricky position, it’s not inconvenient, it just requires logistics!

Tame
Anything Can Be An Exhibit

9 Exhibits I Hate To Pick Up


I have created especially for you a list of the 9 most unpleasant exhibits that I personally hate to pick up. They definately do not show this on CSI Miami, but I can assure you it’s all true. You may never complain about your day job again once you have got to the bottom.
Enjoy……..you probably won’t though!

Gorey
Body in freezer, stench of death. Secret Life Of A CSI

Death – The Stench You Will Never Forget!


The reality is that if you die in the warm weather or in your house with the heating on and you aren’t found for a while the result is not going to be pleasant. It’s a fact! You will swell up, turn a different colour and you will smell horrendous! The stench of a dead person is very unique and not one you will ever forget.

Gorey